what have i done for someone today?

My life has forever been changed because of certain events that have occurred & because of certain people that have come into my life in just the past year & a half. These things & people have caused me to really look at myself & try & figure out who I am & what kind of life I want to live and for that, I am grateful. It has not come without a lot of heartache & tears & a lot of soul searching. I have found that I am so much happier when I am not thinking of myself...when I am doing something for someone else. I have always been taught to think of others & to do for others. My mom was one of my greatest examples. As I was growing up she was always doing for others...always thinking of others. She was always taking dinner to someone or making goodies & she always did so much for my dad, brothers, sister & I. She served so diligently in the Church & was so stalwart in her callings as the Primary President & later as the Relief Society President. But her example as a Visiting Teacher has left more of an impression on me than any of her other callings. She was such a great example & it taught me just how important that calling really is. Being a Visiting Teacher gives you the opportunity to do something for someone without having it really be noticed. Which when you think about it...that is how it should be done & that is how my mom did a lot of things. She did them without a lot of "fanfare" & never wanted any attention. That is something she taught me & that is how I like to do things. I don't like a lot of attention. I want to go unnoticed. I'm so very grateful for my mom for teaching me these things & giving me that foundation. And I am very grateful for the person that has come into my life & changed me...who has helped me to really take a look at myself in the mirror & has helped me to really want to do that something for someone even more than I have in the past...to realize what is really important when you are in "the thick of thin things."

honor...

As a parent...I will be the first to admit that I am far from perfect. I have made a million mistakes while helping raise our five children. I have been overly critical at times...raised my voice way too many times...& been so very impatient...just to mention a few of my flaws & imperfections. I was learning as I went along...because you see... I had never been a parent before. Our Savior, Jesus Christ, throughout His life often referred to the relationship that He had with our Father in Heaven & would remind those that He was with to "Honor thy father & thy mother;that thy days may be long upon the land..." This is one of the greatest commandments. I'm sure my children have asked at some point in their life, "how can I honor my parents when they do things that are not right?" The answer again comes from our Savior, "I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." (Matt. 18:22) Everyone has the same responsibility to forgive a parent's mistake...just like we would expect to be forgiven by them & by others. The Savior taught us to honor & respect our earthly parents, knowing that what we become depends largely upon what we receive from them. Perhaps as a parent I did not give enough...or did not teach enough to earn that respect. Perhaps I did not show enough respect for my children. Honor...it's a simple word...it means to give special respect & to pay tribute. It means to respond to teachings that have been so painstakingly & lovingly taught. I am so far from perfect & the older I get...the clearer the picture is. Honor is something that I clearly fell short of in my efforts as a parent...I'm still learning...

LOVE...on this day of love...

"As long as we can LOVE each other, and remember the feeling of LOVE we had, we can die without ever really going away. All the LOVE you created is still there. You live on in the HEARTS of everyone you have touched and nurtured while you were here.
Death ends life, not a relationship."

--Tuesdays with Morrie

In my lifetime I have lost several close family members...my grandma died when I was 16, I had an uncle & cousin...who was my best friend...die in a car accident just after I turned 17. Then my grandpa died & not too long after that my other grandparents died within months of each other...I was really close to them. My dad followed a few years later & then just in the last 4 years...my mom passed away and I really have done okay with these losses and these were people that I really loved. Granted I about fell apart when my cousin died & I cried so much & so hard my head hurt so bad that I thought it was going to explode...I can still remember that day so vividly & it was over 35 years ago. But it wasn't until my son-in-law passed away unexpectedly a little over a year ago that I have begun to understand what life & death are all about. And just how important relationships are. The thought was presented to me just recently of...is it better to have loved & lost or to not have had it at all so you don't know what you have lost? I told this person that I thought it was better to have loved & lost...it helps you to grow & to become a better person even tho' it is so hard. As I think about all these people that I had in my life & how much I loved each one, I can't help but think how they have touched my life & how grateful I am that they are still a part of my life because they live on in my heart.

do it anyway...

A few years ago I received a book from a friend called "Anyway...the Paradoxical Commandments" by Kent M. Keith. There are 10 paradoxical commandments. Lately I have been feeling a little unappreciated & as I sat & felt sorry for myself, my mind went back to this book so I decided to read it again & this time I found new insights...Everyone wants to be appreciated & a lot of times we might feel that we are being taken for granted & often we end up asking ourselves why do I keep on doing these things for other people if they don't even appreciate me? Well...this book had the answer that totally makes sense to me and that is...we all have our own integrity & standards & we receive satisfaction from doing something well & it really doesn't matter if anyone knows or appreciates what we do...we still have to do our best. It isn't about them...it isn't about how much they care...it's about how much we care! A person who wants or needs the recognition in the things that they do will focus on trying to get it instead of focusing on meeting the needs of others. People don't always give you that recognition & if you feel you need that, then your happiness will depend on the desires of others. But, if you "do it anyway" the satisfaction that you receive when you help others will always be yours whether or not you get that recognition. Some may think this is very "saintly" but when you live a paradoxical life, it's not about sainthood! Recognition doesn't give you as much meaning as loving & helping others does & you shouldn't stop helping others just because others don't seem to appreciate you. You just do it anyway.
{I saw this video & again it brought it all in perspective. Go here to see it.}

random thoughts...

This blog is all about my random thoughts of things that I have learned from my life's experiences. A blog where I can just vent & write what I'm thinking...a journal of sorts. But one that maybe someone...somewhere out there just might benefit from...not that I'm in any way a wise person with a lot of worldly wisdom.
Just someone...with just a thought.
So...I'm open to hearing YOUR thoughts. If there is anything that I've learned so far in my life is that we learn from each other...just keep those thoughts clean...I don't like being embarrassed.